Around 2017 a few years into my life at secondary I came across a girl I found very attractive who was incredibly popular in our yr group and coincidentally shared a lot of classes with myself in which we gradually drew closer and had a lot of chemistry which led for classmates urging us to couple up and date each other but I had no confidence whatsoever about doing that as I never hanged out with anyone outside school bar my neighbor friend and my friend. I masturbated everyday and I mean EVERY DAY ,porn acted as a coping mechanism for my lack of intimacy with women. Anyway, moving back to my life at secondary school after failing to find the balls to ask out my crush I spent the next 2yrs continuing my place in the school hierarchy as he athletic guy who just chilled with his friends which I guess was fine by me as I used porn as a means of escapism and it got real bad. His kid was in the same grade as me and we played together every day before he eventually moved out. I can't exactly remember when I first saw porn it was probably somewhere between the age of 8-11 on my neighbors dads desktop. The consequences of my exotropia possibly lead to a addiction I struggled with till this day PORN! I now enter secondary school which is for ages 11-16, similarly to primary school I also seamlessly managed to integrate into which I guess was easier considering a lot of my primary school classmates also entered the same school in addition to me being the fastest person in my grade which garnered myself some however at this age I started to find myself more interested in romance with me ended up finding the 1st and only person I've ever truly liked and I think she even liked me too but in the end I was too chicken to even ask here out because of my wayward eye which had seemingly shot my confidence when it came to asking out girls out of fear of rejection. My time at primary school could be considered normal and probably one of the better periods of my absolute misery of a life. In school people occasionally made fun about my lazy eye from time and sister also made fun about it as well but my Mother insisted nothing was wrong with me and that my eyes were fine but unfortunately at the time I was too young to see my mother and my Father blatant distrust for anything related to doctors. Its a condition called exotropia in other words my eye occasionally wanders outwards aka as a lazy eye I believe. The journey starts from my primary school days this would be Elementary school for any american or international viewers I was a smart, athletic and energetic kid who was smart plenty of plenty of friends and on the outside seemed normal by most standards but there was one problem that still haunts me to this day. Its a few hours away from 21st birthday and for the 1st time in my life i'm going to let out my true feelings to a bunch of strangers, well here we go. This is my 1st ever post and it will be quiet a long one for my standards anyway, hopefully I get a response or two. Please apply proper trigger warning post flairs on posts talking about suicide, abuse or drugs.Your post/comment will be removed, and action might be taken.Rule 6: Don't spam, advertise or push your religion upon others Instead of making a post "exposing" them, Send a message to the moderators so we can take action. If someone ends up PM'ing you only for the purpose of getting nudes, etc. Rule 5: No NSFW or posts looking for a relationship For your own safety, do not post or comment your phone number, social media usernames etc.Rule 4: Don't post personal information outside of PM's Also goes without saying, don't tell people to kill themselves, don't glorify suicide/death, and, unfortunately, we will have to remove any suicide notes from here, as whilst we want to help everyone, we do not want more people getting that idea.Rule 3: No suicide encouragement, glorification, or notes Most of us here are quite vulnerable, so please just if you can, spare a kind word, and if not, at the very least don't try and make someone feel worse. This isn't so much as a rule, but just worth remembering.Pretty self explanatory this one, no discriminating based on a person's circumstances, this is a tolerant community and anyone found breaking these rules will be dealt with.Rules: Rule 1: No discrimination, sexism or racism If you prefer realtime interaction, you might want to check out our Discord server! Any problems at all, please let the moderators know. All that we request is that you be accepting of people, and kind. Everyone is welcome here, no matter your age, race, sex, sexuality, relationship status.
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